Romans 1:16 ” For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes. . .”
As a growing Christian, I’ve struggled with my courageousness for Christ. I’ve struggled praising and worshiping in public, especially in the house of worship (the church), I’ve always been a rather shy individual and I had allowed it to spill over into my spirituality. The enemy has tried to make me believe that I would be greatly rejected if I were to be open about my faith. As a fresh Christian, most of my friends are unsaved and I’ve often stayed silent on secular matters such as sex (outside of marriage), alcohol, homosexuality and everything in between. I was so fearful that I’d sometimes be scared to pray over my food in public because I thought that others would judge me. I was a secret Christian and I was on my way to hell. Now, if you’re reading this and you see these same symptoms within yourself, know that God is not pleased. On this journey, I’m realizing that God wants us to be radical for Him, we cannot hide Him, we cannot hide who we are nor be concerned about the nay-sayers. Luke 9:26 says that if we are ashamed of Him, then He will be ashamed of us in front of the Father, that is an offense worthy of eternal fire.
As scary as it sounds, we must be ready for what comes with this territory as the word tells us that we will be hated BECAUSE of Him, but we are also told in Matthew 10:39 that if we lose our lives for His sake that we will gain it. By no means am I saying that every believer will be put to death, nor am I saying that this scripture is speaking simply in literal terms regarding your mortality, however, I will say that the trade in this deal is so great that only a true, sold out individual will understand the treasures behind it (understand that I am NOT pushing any extreme idea of death or suicide regarding this matter, if you need further clarification, I suggest reaching out to me directly, performing your OWN research, or seeking out reputable Christian leaders to assist you with your concerns).
“I was a secret Christian. . .”
In some of my older posts, I’ve mentioned some of my experiences while I was exploring God, now that I’ve grown in faith I’ve realized how critical it is to choose this day whom I will serve ( Joshua 24:15) many times we forget to categorize this unnecessary shame as lukewarmness while we straddle the fence with other cares of this world. The Bible mentions God spewing us out of His mouth and that He would rather us be either hot or cold ( Revelation 3:16) ,the idea of God “spitting” me out is disturbing, in His presence is where I want to be. The fact of the matter is, lukewarmness is infidelity towards God. . . if you have ever been cheated on then you understand the feelings of hurt, anger, disgust, resentment, and sadness that comes over you. We must remember that God has feelings too and He will not tolerate us running between Him and the enemy.
“Luke 9:26 says that if we are ashamed of Him, then He will be ashamed of us in front of the Father. . .”
Make no mistake, the enemy knows when you are lukewarm, he also knows when you have sinned and will call you out on it. Imagine being read for filth by your enemy? Imagine them being 100% correct about your unclean deeds, most people would be embarrassed. I’m going to be transparent to wrap this thing up because this topic was on my heart. . . I had allowed myself to return to an old, dead, tired and abusive relationship. This young man believes in God but he is not a Christian. I knew the relationship was a two-time failure before starting over and I had willfully ignored all of the God’s revelation prior to moving him in with me (yes, against my beliefs, I had moved this man in – another story for another day) all of my attempts to “fix” him by introducing him to Christ went somewhat in vain. He regularly rejected prayer, he became irritated with my life and my choice to follow Christ, his verbally abusive nature was still present, along with a slew of other things that I had accepted.
While being with him, I started to feel as if he was under the authority of something more powerful than he is ( a demonic spirit) and this isn’t crazy talk, many things about him were odd and perverted. I began feeling as if I was living with an enemy, however my guard was down and I was vulnerable and he would take every bit of what was around him to build his ammunition. I remember during one of our shouting matches he said “you heathen!” as he continued to insult my character, at the time I had ignored the statement, brushing it off as I stuck my nose up. Being a self-proclaimed “child/woman of God” was a title I’d taken pride in but it wasn’t until after the relationship had dissolved that I reflected and realized that he was right. I know for sure that the enemy had used him to bring division in my home, however, I danced with him by fornicating, drinking, cursing and acting as if there is no Jehovah The enemy was in my home and called me out for my hypocrisy, I had compromised my beliefs for absolutely no reason, trying to drag this man to God when that was not my business nor my assignment. The enemy used my desire to have a family and used it to help me separate myself from Christ, his intentions were to get me far enough away from God to take my life in the midst of sin.
“I danced with him by fornicating, drinking, cursing and acting as if there is no Jehovah”
I write this piece with a bit of urgency as we all need to decide which side we are on and to stand firm in our faith. I have more stories regarding this issues but I’m not looking to extend this any further.
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